By Lynn Lynn Myat Oo
WE live in a world that constantly demands our attention. From the moment our alarms buzz in the morning to the final scroll of our phones at night, we are bombarded with things to prioritize. But amid the chaos of everyday life, please choose yourself before everyone else.
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat – this isn’t about being selfish. It doesn’t count when it comes to your parents or your family; taking care of the people who raised and support you is just love. But outside of that sacred circle? If you are constantly putting everyone else’s comfort above your own, this is your wake-up call. Because when you’re too busy filling everyone else’s cups, yours runs dry.
The Cost of Kindness: When Giving Becomes Giving In
There is a beautiful difference between empathy and people-pleasing, though they often masquerade as the same thing.
Empathy is understanding someone else’s feelings and caring about their well-being.
People-pleasing is abandoning your own needs just to keep someone else comfortable.
Here is the harsh truth we have to face: people will always take advantage of someone who constantly forgives, constantly surrenders, and constantly says yes. They don’t necessarily do it out of malice; they do it because you’ve taught them that your boundaries are negotiable.
You must develop the instinct to know when to accept things and when to say a firm, unapologetic “No”. Do not be afraid to reject invitations, favours, or tasks that make you uncomfortable or drained.
My Wake-Up Call: From Hospital Beds to Hard Boundaries
I’m not speaking from a place of judgement. Admittedly, I was once a chronic people-pleaser.
At one point, I was grinding through a full-time nine-to-five job during the week and working a part-time gig on the weekends. I had zero free time. Yet, when my friends wanted to hang out, I was so terrified they would complain or abandon me that I actually took leaves of absence from work just to keep them happy.
It was the same story at my job. My managers would call and assign me shifts on my designated days off, and I would always say yes. Why? Because I had built a reputation as the person who never said no.
Then came the breaking point.
I was hospitalized, fighting off Hepatitis (A). My phone rang. It was my manager, asking me to come into work because a coworker had taken an emergency leave.
Read that again. I was literally in a hospital bed with a serious liver infection, and they wanted me to cover a shift.
It made absolutely no sense. I am not a miserable loser with a victim mindset – I don’t look for reasons to feel sorry for myself – but in that moment, I realized I could no longer accept that level of disrespect.
Choosing Tranquillity Over Approval
From that day forward, I chose my own tranquillity and comfort. Learning to say no didn’t make me a cold person; it made me a healthy one. If something is not okay with me, it is simply not okay. If you are reading this and recognizing your own reflection in my past, please hear me: You are allowed to protect your peace. Your time, your health, and your mental sanity are not currency to buy other people’s approval.
Choose yourself today. Everyone else can wait.
