By Sitt Naing

‘If she lies, she lies’

Many years ago, I encountered a senior Dutch diplomat in Myanmar in the middle of a heated exchange with local representatives. This diplomat, who resembled a wizened, poorly-made, cheap waxwork of Brigitte Nielsen, was apparently involved in the adviso­ry committee for Rakhine during the height of the Western hand-wringing over Myanmar’s crackdown against terrorists. I couldn’t help but watch in apprehension as she spoke down to the Myanmar representatives. The manner in which she had done so repeatedly and confidently, airing fantastical, un­substantiated lies, was reminiscent of the way Dutch colonial authorities had treated the natives during the days of their imperial dominance in Southeast Asia and South America. The smug, self-possessed, finger-wagging arro­gance bred only from a position of privi­lege empowered by neoliberal asymme­try was not unlike the nose-shrivelling disregard and superiority exhibited as the Dutch brutalized thousands during the South Sulawesi campaign and the Rengat and Rawagede massacres in Indonesia, or the Marienburg massacre in Suriname, to name but a few.

Don’t worry, I was later told by gra­cious locals. It’s just the Dutch being Dutch, which is to say, blunt and direct. Of course, we all know that this is ex­actly how ‘diplomats’ tasked by their countries with ‘diplomacy’ overseas are supposed to act in conversations with representatives from the host country. Curiously enough, dehydrated Brigitte Nielsen never seemed to talk down to fellow Westerners or those from more powerful nations than hers. Dehydrat­ed Brigitte Nielsen, to no one’s sur­prise, reportedly granted patronage to a deplorable gaggle of local lackeys working in the ‘humanitarian’ and ‘civil society’ sector in Myanmar, a gaping abyss sucking up Western taxpayer contributions and which doubles as a tool for foreign interference. This de­meaning treatment, it seems, was spe­cifically reserved for Myanmar nation­als who refused to tow her line. Today, dehydrated Brigitte Nielsen spends her days clawing for relevance on X from the weight of her previous positions, becoming one with the blob of ex-and current Western diplomats unhealthily obsessed with undermining the My­anmar government at every available turn through half-baked half-truths or outright lies.

Beggars in Brussels

Recently, this blob’s European appendage, acting through the Euro­pean Union, welcomed terrorists on their doorstep. The terrorists, led by a delusional Western-trained lapdog with the appearance and charisma of a wet, unkempt garden gnome, arrived in Brussels, begging bowls out, to take orders from Europeans. The meeting was chiefly organized by Igor Dries­mans, the EU’s Ambassador to ASEAN and Special Envoy for Myanmar, who gleefully pranced around taking credit for the arrangement. That same week, Acting President Senior General Min Aung Hlaing and his delegation were be­ing warmly hosted in China with other world leaders in a spectacle celebrat­ing resistance to tyranny. The contrast couldn’t be more apparent-a reality the terrorists and their demented, self-serv­ing minions recognize but refuse to acknowledge to keep up their charade and, more importantly, the funding go­ing. The terrorists and their toadies are more than happy to take taxpay­er money away from disadvantaged needy families in Europe to fund their expensive, continent-criss-crossing so­journs and shopping trips to decorate their serviced apartments, villas and McMansions in Chiang Mai, Mae Sot, California and Maryland.

The terrorists, as well as their EU sponsors cum paymasters, blabbered on about ‘reforming’ their decrepit body – a laughably pathetic display that, un­derneath the flowery, self-serving ver­biage, tells the world, in no uncertain terms: ‘we’re out of ideas, people have turned on us, please rescue us, anoint­ed western masters.’ In any sovereign country, such pandering prostrations to Europeans and other foreigners would be deemed seditious and tantamount to treason. Yet for this group of terrorists, worshipping Western politicians and being their unobstructive lickspittles is practically second nature.

For the EU collaborators sponsor­ing the terrorists, it helps insulate the former from troubles they and their countries are facing domestically. In Western European policy circles, moral grandstanding and virtue exhibitions remain in vogue, even as it has been gradually phased out in the rest of the world, including in the United States, where efforts by President Trump’s ad­ministration have faced resistance from disloyal traitors within the State Depart­ment hydra, most prominently in its overseas missions. Keep this in mind: Western Europe’s ruling political and policymaking classes, at their hearts, are nostalgic for bygone eras where they were masters beyond reproach. In these Myanmar-born pet terrorists, the wannabe masters find willing slaves in whom to actualize their dual fantasies, living out their Hollywood-spun med­dling fantasies in faraway countries, yet be comfortably insulated from the consequences.

Feeding the Blob

Driesmans and the EU in Brussels are aided in no small part by the ‘diplo­mats’ serving in the EU Delegation in Myanmar, whose primary jobs appear to be feeding this circle of repugnant bias, selective outrage and terroristic sup­port. For these alleged diplomats, most days are spent meandering through meetings with ‘local contacts’, lunch­es at four-star hotels, and establishing ‘resilience networks’ to hasten support to terrorist groups, dreaming up cover names for them to pass off under of­ficial endorsement. White collar local staff at the EU Delegation in Myanmar are often treated as menial personal assistants and lackeys, in complete contravention of workplace standards instituted in their home countries.

Evenings for these so-called dip­lomats are spent stuffing their smug faces and swigging alcohol at receptions while raging bloody fire against the My­anmar government, sometimes pausing to lavish praise on some hideous art piece or performance art by their fa­vourite local sellout artist, accumulating ‘woke’ points to morally gesticulate and gyrate in ‘high-level meetings’. These so-called diplomats would awake the next day and jot down ideas for a hilar­iously falsified memoir on how much danger they had faced in two to three years in Myanmar. The horrors of bland croissants and mosquito bites magically become dodging imaginary bombs in Yangon and sheltering terrorists. When these Golden Valley-based EU-crats say they love Myanmar, they sincerely mean it – they really love the privilege they’re afforded, and they love using local Myanmar citizens as props in their fantastical hero delusions. They also very much love the favourable exchange rate that lets them live like mini barons and baronesses in Myanmar on salaries from European taxes. But love for the country and its future beyond their own narrow-minded interpretations? None.

Final Messages

To the EU Delegation in Myanmar (the political officer, no doubt within an arm’s reach of the office Prosecco and some cheap, basic terrorist-supporting merchandise), know this and remem­ber: do not forget that you are in the Republic of the Union of Myanmar. You are a very privileged guest in the coun­try, blessed with diplomatic immunity. The landlord here has almost saintly patience for your shenanigans. He fixes your garden. Change the lights where needed. And most graciously of all, it even ignores your truly wretched body language, odour and habits, including blaring loud music, scattering toenails all over the living room and inviting unsavoury drug-addicted guests. Yet patience has a limit. When you smear excrement on the walls, set the curtains on fire, destroy furniture and support squatters on the premises, you should not be surprised when evicted perma­nently.

Myanmar is well within its rights as a sovereign nation to reciprocate the blatant disrespect shown by Brussels’ deluded terrorist dalliances. For every single time Driesmans (who should be designated persona non grata) and the EU engage with the garden gnome and other repulsive warrant-dodging terrorists, or for every self-obsessed, dishonest social media post by the EU Delegation in Myanmar condemning the country’s upcoming elections, My­anmar should expel an in-country so-called diplomat from the EU Delegation or any Western European embassy. Or two. Or three. Send them back to their illegal immigrant-infested capitals to lick their wounds and dribble and moan about Myanmar to the terrorist-sup­porting diaspora traitor networks that are used to kneeling for foreigners to sustain their existences.

Let them spend European taxes on meaningless money pit terrorist fundraisers headlined by grifters, debt dodgers, has-beens and never-weres. For the mentally slower members of the EU Delegation in Myanmar: know that ‘diplomatic immunity’ is not a clearance for subverting our elections in Myanmar or any other country, and that the My­anmar government’s leniency must not be abused. You are not saving anyone with your subversive meddling she­nanigans and high-horsing rhetorical garbage. Your mission’s appropriation of European taxes and time only goes to thieves, vandals, rapists, murderers and their go-betweens terrorizing innocent law-abiding Myanmar citizens.